TWS174: Folding like a…

CQ: Will humans ever really evolve again — or are we so consciously avoiding anything that might be called a “mutant” that we stymie evolution, for better or worse?

Bumper: Dylan of Berlin (a fan!)

Promo: Nutty Bites podcast

Bumper: Jim Ryan of Every World News and The Great Debate podcasts

On the show this week:

• Front Page
• Couch of Charts
• Louse of Wards
• Spare Deck (Extras)

Full list of 50 articles after the jump!

• Front Page:
  • Just a couple of boobs, fighting it out in the frozen food section..: AOL – Lady Gaga Sues Breast Milk Ice Cream Maker
  • Coming soon: hamburger-shaped carrots!: CBC – 3D printers create edible objects
  • In the future, people will wear constant pretty-fying VR goggles, and wonder why people in the past were so ugly..: Reuters – Japan camera prettifies subjects, even adds “makeup”
  • That’s a pretty cool profession..: CNN – Chilling out with the world’s only ice musician
  • That’s a pretty cool PhD (dammit!).: CBC – B.C. priest lands snowboarding PhD
  • This reads like a plot to a Clive Cussler novel..: ABC Australia – Claims aviation pioneer Earhart’s plane found in PNG
  • Pretty soon, the only thing you will be able to do is wink, until the “danger shades” are instituted..: AOL – High School ‘Bans’ Hugging
  • Bitter people only live long enough to take the joy out of other people and make them live less than them.: ScienceDaily – Happiness Improves Health and Lengthens Life, Review Finds
• Couch of Charts:
  • Curiously, the Vatican has been mostly silent about this..: The Daily Telegraph – Charlie Sheen insults America’s pagan community and now faces an angry warlock’s curse
  • Proof that it’s all a scam? Or maybe the secret to cooking well is just to believe?: The UK Daily Mail – Charlie Sheen wields a knife as he cooks up more trouble in spoof video
  • Yes, but maybe not in the way you mean..: AOL – Is Charlie Sheen’s World Record-Setting Twitter Presence an Elaborate Stunt?
  • I take great pride in pouring an enormous amount of fascination into the most ordinary of things.. Does that make me an honourary member?: AOL – The Dull Men’s Club: Interesting Men Need Not Apply
  • It’s a one-note joke played on a symphony orchestra..: Yahoo!/7News – Blank book on sex outsells ‘Harry Potter’, ‘Da Vinci Code’
  • Of course, it’s the clients who have to hide their shame (and likely, the bill)..: AOL – Nude Therapist Takes Off (and Takes It All Off) in New York
  • Hey! *You* trying standing up when a train is built under *you*, buddy!: The UK Telegraph – Michelangelo’s David ‘could collapse due to high-speed train building’
  • (EXTRA) Probing the secret occult messages of golf, or just someone who tried to play it in the rough?: The Belfast Telegraph – Fury over golf ball in dead gardener’s throat
  • When it comes to clear sound of occult, I guess I’ll make mine a Steinway..: The New York Post – Piano mansion voodoo shock
  • Well, he always was a traveler..: AOL – Man’s Ashes Stolen From Church Right Before His Funeral
  • Ah, from relative obscurity to the root cause of all modern things — Lovecraft would be proud, and no doubt smirk at the irony..: The Irish Journal of Gothic and Horror Studies – The Influence of H P Lovecraft on Occultism
  • (EXTRA) People are dying to play.. *groan*: Orange – Radio station’s ‘win a funeral’ contest
  • A miracle or a urinal?: The Malaysian Star – Curious case of the ‘holy’ droplets
  • (EXTRA) Would you rather have them smoking? (Maybe.. yeah…): NZ Herald – Nicotine replacements poisoning kids
  • (EXTRA) Perhaps if they called it “reduced persons seat”?: Metro – Smallest man in the world in trouble with police for not using child seat
  • (EXTRA) There’s always some upstart in the fierce category of undergrowth..: Orange – Teen set to be world’s smallest man
  • (EXTRA) Pretend that you, too, need a carseat!: Orange – Giant shoe car – a step forward?
  • (EXTRA) Wasn’t this the norm a century-and-a-half ago?: Yahoo! – World’s youngest grandmother is just 23-years-old
  • (EXTRA) Turns out, Lincoln’s views weren’t clearly black and white..: Yahoo!/AP – New book sheds new light on Lincoln’s racial views
  • (EXTRA) After all: if the fake Bigfoot’s free speech isn’t respected, how will the real one cope?: BBC – Bigfoot film-maker sues New Hampshire over free speech
  • (EXTRA) The one book they aren’t likely carrying? The phone book.: BBC – New library opens in a Cornish phone box
• Louse of Wards:
  • Well, really it’s the evidence of the evidence of the possibility of life that might possibly be alien, but that’s close? Right?: Yahoo! – NASA scientist finds evidence of alien life
  • In short: “I was going to say NO! .. and now that I’ve had a chance to look at things, I’m saying NO!” Open minds are apparently for suckers..: Discover Magazine – Followup thoughts on the meteorite fossils claim
  • (EXTRA) It’s a good thing NASA isn’t going out there with extraordinary claims of its own about alien life… … Oh…: Wired UK – Nasa distances itself from controversial alien bacteria claims
  • (EXTRA) This is a little like predicting the weather, only while in a different continent, so there are bound to be mis-steps..: Discover Magazine – Exclusive: “Most Earth-Like” Exoplanet Gets Major Demotion-It Isn’t Habitable
  • Word on the street is: the 75% are throwing the fight. Always bet “human”!: The UK Daily Mail – On the brink: Sixth mass extinction ‘that will eradicate 75% of life on Earth is drawing closer’
  • (EXTRA) Maybe *they* care, but… I don’t. : The UK Telegraph – Chickens are capable of feeling empathy, scientists believe
  • They are moving to Ireland, perhaps?: BBC – Adders, toads and lizards are disappearing from UK
  • (EXTRA) Because what the world needs more of is zombie ants. Or at least: that’s what works!: Yahoo!/Livescience – New Zombie-Ant Fungi Found
  • (EXTRA) They just don’t like to show off, and really suck at bookings.: Orange – Scientists say mice are born singers
  • (EXTRA) They hear the songs of the mice, and they say “we’d better work together on our act — those guys are good!”.: BBC – Elephants know how to co-operate
  • It sounds like it was a pretty brutal fight, like UFC or KFC or something..: BBC – How man ‘lost his penile spines’
  • How the main force fighting the virtual alien invasion was bureaucracy and paperwork..: AOL – Classified Docs Reveal UK Tried to Stop Worldwide UFO Investigation
  • Strangely, it’s not the NASA connection they want to exploit in this article’s headline..: Adelaide Now – Britain’s own X-Files reveal Aussie links
  • Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice.. uh.. And I’ll classify it!: The UK Guardian – Alien invasion hoax fooled MoD, archive papers reveal
  • (EXTRA) Occult practice? Butchering a metaphor? Very selective dogs?: AOL – Bizarre Bird Maimings in Huntington Beach: A Vast ‘Right Wing’ Conspiracy?
  • (EXTRA) Yeah, that can’t be good.. Something about this smells fishy to me..: Los Angeles Times – Millions of dead fish at King Harbor in Redondo Beach [Updated]
  • (EXTRA) Oh, you know how it is: you get something all ready to go, and then forget all about it..: The UK Daily Mail – Mummified remains of dead woman’s mother found in house dressed in pyjamas, wearing one sock and wrapped in plastic
• Spare Deck (Extras):
  • (EXTRA) It may not grow on trees, but that’s because it’s a flower or a tuber or something..: The UK Daily Mail – ‘The field of money’: Police find thousands of dollars lying on highway
  • (EXTRA) I’ve heard this story in multiple places by now, but it’s still an impressive tale of the complexity of human consciousness and the frightening nature of locked-in-like states..: The UK Daily Mail – Love conquers all: The story of one man’s determination to prove doctors wrong when girlfriend was given up for dead after being hit by 18-wheel truck
  • (EXTRA) I just wonder where this is going.. Are all doctor’s offices to be filled with a zoo of cancer, diabetes and other disease-sensing animals?: The UK Daily Mail – Tiny the abandoned terrier to train as diabetes detection dog after revealing life-saving gift
  • (EXTRA) I wonder if it was a genetic engineering experiment that someone cocked up..: The Global Post – Brazil, putting the penis in passion fruit

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