Show Notes for TWS079: Aprils Fools Make Futures Bright

On the show this week:

• April Fools Bring May Flowers
• The Wonderful Future World We’ll Never See

This week’s Challenge Question:
The destruction of the current way of life seems inevitable. How soon will it be unrecognizeable to us living today? 10 years? 50? 100? What will it look like?
Leave your answer in the comments, send your email to weirdshow[[at]]gmail.com, record your message via the MobaTalk client on the right hand side of Encaffeinated!, leave an answer on Facebook or call in at 206-203-2292.

Full links to all stories covered and many more after the jump!

• Theme Song: Caffeine by Grubspoon from The Podsafe Music Network
• Responses
  • Thanks to: No one. Well, Bruce, sorta..
• April Fools Bring May Flowers
  • Such things were created by the Ancient Geeks. – The Daily Mail: Decoded: ‘The clay tablet that tells how an asteroid destroyed Sodom 5,000 years ago’
  • Another politician who toad the party line.. – Metro: Aussie politician proposes toad destruction day
  • If it sounds like too good a dead — it probably is. – The UK Telegraph: Devil’s in the detail of ‘haunted’ house sale
  • Scientific theories for ghosts? Or April Fool’s joke? Or potential Ig Nobel prize winner? – New Scientist: ‘They’re here’: The mechanism of poltergeist activity
  • “Hello dear? Can you take the trash out?” – Black Pool Gazette: Man believes dead wife is contacting him on mobile
  • “But he smells of elderberries!” – BBC: ‘George Bush is like crusty potato’
  • If you have a problem, you must Whip it! Whip it Good! – Pravda: Whipping therapy cures depression and suicide crises
  • Hey, if blue light works for depression, why not moonlight? – Arizona Daily Star: Celestial-light device gets a down-to-earth patent
  • He’s more than meets the eye — he’s a transformer! – Ananova: Pregnant man shows off scan
• The Wonderful Future World We’ll Never See
  • You *will* be assimilated! – BBC: Computers to merge with humans
  • Finally paying the bill? Also a few years away. – New Scientist: Matrix-style virtual worlds ‘a few years away’
  • Hmm.. manufacturing proteins? Hmm.. STEAK! Missed this reference to the MEAT TREE idea the first time.. – New Scientist: ‘Artificial cell’ can make its own genes
  • And the winner is…. NOBODY! – New Scientist: Statistics can predict Oscars winners
  • Roads with fashion sense? – New Scientist: Intelligent paint turns roads pink in icy conditions
  • EXTRA: Robots are doin’ it for themselves. – New Scientist: Robotic cargo ship docks flawlessly with space station
  • BumBot wanders into alleys and pisses on people. No, really! – San Francisco Chronicle/LA Times: ATLANTA ROBOT HITS STREETS
  • ur teh suxor. kthxbai – The Independent: Lora, An and Conna: the txt-spk names that are taking over
  • We’re screwed, geoclimatically speaking.. – The Daily Mail: We’re all doomed! 40 years from global catastrophe – and there’s NOTHING we can do about it, says climate change expert
  • Nothing like averting one crisis by causing another.. – New Scientist: Chief scientist revolts over biofuel legislation
• Forgotted Dreams, Broken Memories (EXTRAS)
  • EXTRA: A proponderance of petrified poo points pastward precisely.. – The Boston Globe: Fossilized feces upends timeline of human’s arrival in North America
  • EXTRA: Like the start of some crazy scifi novel, a UFO research group takes up residence in an abandoned missile silo.. – LA Times: Seeking UFOs, deep underground
  • EXTRA: He had he ticket half-written when he realized they weren’t stopping. Damn foreigners! – American Chronicle: Texas officer tracked Stephenville UFO’s speed with police radar gun
  • EXTRA: He’s got balls.. Large, metallic, space balls. – The UK Telegraph: Australian farmer’s space junk discovery
  • EXTRA: More balls. Apparently, they came from outer space (via NASA). – The Universe Today: The Mysterious Case of Two Spheres Falling to Earth in Australia and Brazil
  • EXTRA: Shake, rattle and CHANGE THE UNIVERSE. – New Scientist: ‘Mountains’ on stars could trigger gravitational waves
  • EXTRA: Crisis averted! Or, just delayed by bad math. – Breitbart.com/AP: 7 Russian Cult Members Emerge From Cave
  • EXTRA: As China grows, so grows the world (of animals). – New Scientist: China’s boom sparks mass species invasion
  • EXTRA: Yet another doomsday story about the Hadron Collider.. Frankly, the biggest disaster is likely to be all the FUD. – International Herald Tribune: Try this headline: Black Hole Eats Earth
  • EXTRA: The anti-miniaturization society lives! – Ananova: Not so mobile phone
  • EXTRA: Exploiting dogs for our security and health reasons. – The Guardian: Smells suspicious
  • EXTRA: Titanic Tabby, or Collossal Cougar? – Chicago Tribune: A ‘very big cat’ is on the loose in North Chicago, authorities say
  • EXTRA: Plastination applied to non-human monsters. +1d10 creepiness.. – BBC: Giant preserved squid on display
  • EXTRA: Eww! Hide them again! Hide them again!! – BBC: Secret ‘dino bugs’ revealed
  • IN PASSING:My dream is to be able to just pick up and go see stuff like this.. – WIS-tv: California group comes to Bishopville to investigate “Lizard Man”
  • IN PASSING:Duh! Scales vs Hair, folks! Sheesh.. – WIS-TV: California crew thinks “Lizard Man” may be “Bigfoot”
  • EXTRA: First step: be born with the best genes. Alternatively, change them. – New Scientist: How to be reincarnated as a queen
  • EXTRA: Monkey hear, monkey wanna do.. – New Scientist: Monkeys eavesdrop on neighbours’ orgasmic cries
  • EXTRA: Naughty by Nature. – New Scientist: ‘Emotion genes’ make mice squeal during sex
  • EXTRA: They’ve got that healthy “new chick” glow.. – New Scientist: UV vision reveals chicks’ healthy glow
  • EXTRA: Apparently, we may also glow when healthy.. Aura, much? – New Scientist: Sweat ducts may act as giveaway ‘antennae’
  • EXTRA: They may be able to dress them up, but their attitude stinks. – Ananova: Camel beauty pageant
  • EXTRA: I guess that would be a successful trip, then. – The New York Times: Travelers in Search of Mexico’s Magic Find Town of Witches and Warlocks
  • EXTRA: “For sale: Cute cottage. Comes with pets (potentially).” – Charles Fort Institute: Cottingley Fairies for Sale
  • EXTRA: It’s fine to disagree or disbelieve, just don’t do it with stones. – IBN Live: Villagers catch ‘witch’, beat up and parade her
  • EXTRA: Tax systems and pyramid schemes aren’t the only things which can lock you in for generations. – The UK Guardian/The UK Observer: Children in voodoo’s power
  • EXTRA: I see a good future for you… in Russia! – Russia Today: Moscow goes psycho for psychics
  • EXTRA: Electronic Voice Phenomena (EVP) is among the creepiest ghost sightings, as it reveals things that you couldn’t perceive at the time, like some sort higher-dimensional Cthulhic warping.. – Times-Herald: Paranormal researchers hear voices on tapes; schedule return visit
  • He was so brainy a poet, he had two heads.. – MSNBC: Relatives exhumed to identify poet’s skull
  • EXTRA: I think it was Sun Tzu who said: “Turn your enemies against each other, and you will have no enemies.” Hmm.. maybe it was a Klingon.. – Science Daily: Salmonella Bacteria Turned Into Cancer Fighting Robots
  • EXTRA: It’s like scaring yourself a little to not be scared by the big things.. Uh.. – New Scientist: Bugs provoke the immune system into fighting cancer
  • EXTRA: OSD + relgion = bad. Although generally “+ religion” is a bit of a nightmare to begin with.. – ABC News: When People Can’t Stop Praying
  • EXTRA: I found this after extensive research on the internet. I have a problem. – New Scientist: Internet addiction is a psychiatric disorder
  • EXTRA: Smoke if you got ’em, ’cause yer gonna die. – New Scientist: Double-whammy gene keeps smokers hooked
  • EXTRA: Halway between “pig out holidays”. – Ananova: Today is ‘Fat Wednesday’
  • EXTRA: The next generation will probably be the last.. – PhysOrg: Keep on running: Lack of exercise when young may lead to heart disease
  • EXTRA: Maybe you just eat the chemicals better? – New Scientist: Starving before chemotherapy could save more lives
  • EXTRA: Everything works better with frickin’ laser beams! – New Scientist: Laser medical scan does away with biopsies
  • EXTRA: Extreme body modding, with even less of a point.. – New Scientist: How to transform your arm into a wing
  • EXTRA: Biometrics means a thriving trade in thumb-running, methinks.. – The Register: Get your German interior minister’s fingerprint here
  • EXTRA: He was’t a *real* vampire. A real criminal, however. – BBC: ‘Vampire’ convict dies in Bolivia
  • EXTRA: Kids are like criminals with less moral compunction.. – Yahoo!/AP: Cops: 3rd-graders aimed to hurt teacher
  • EXTRA: Sometimes, just being caught is punishment itself. – WTOL: UPDATE–Bellevue man no longer facing charges for sex with table
  • EXTRA: The only thing I have a problem with here is the deception.. – New Scientist: Modern-day body snatcher pleads guilty
  • EXTRA: More playing with the dead. – MSNBC/AP: Burglar nabbed playing dead at funeral parlor
  • EXTRA: Coffee stops crimes. It’s true! – Ananova: Victim offers robber a cuppa
  • EXTRA: Irony? Or a good lesson – Ananova: Anti-crime youth centre stolen
  • EXTRA: Only, without the cool music. – The UK Telegraph: Star Wars comes to Holyhead as Darth Vader strikes back in Jedi’s back garden
  • EXTRA: Jail is a low blow. – The Guelph Mercury: Man who asked to be kicked in groin gets jail
  • EXTRA: It’s on the web: it should be free and paid for by ugly ads. – MSNBC/Reuters: Pay-per-view funeral Webcasts go live in Britain
  • EXTRA: A meeting of the mimes. – MSNBC/Reuters: Second Life avatars attend House hearing
  • EXTRA: The difference between art and real life is that real life blinks. – Ananova: Panic over wounded angels
  • EXTRA: Look Ma! No hands! *groad* – Ananova: Lorry driver had no hands
  • EXTRA: All survivors deserve a crown, really.. – International Herald Tribune/AP: Angola elects Miss Landmine Survivor in beauty pageant
  • EXTRA: A houseboat that never floated. – Ananova: Not so shipshape
  • EXTRA: So not hiring *that* house designer.. – Ananova: Flat has bath in kitchen
  • EXTRA: Underwater rugby. Geez.. as if rugby wasn’t tough enough! – Ananova: Up and underwater
  • EXTRA: Doing laundry for the rugby players? – Metro: Pressed for success
  • EXTRA: Freezing, but eating good food.. on a stick! – Ananova: World’s most northerly kebab shop
  • EXTRA: Cultural faux pas, to be sure.. but for which side? – Ananova: Marathon runners told not to hunt
  • EXTRA: Reading books without covers. – Ananova: Naked book reading

Podcast: Play in new window | Download